My best friend and I...?

Decided that we should go to the park. My best friend, Catalina, she fell into a deep hole that a nearby gardener was working on. I decided to jump down and I fell in to. The gardener was like "Hey! Get out of there! I'm working on that!" We gulped. And he started yelling and got angry, his face turned red and he jumped so high that the ground shook and the soil fell onto us. We were trapped under tonnes and tonnes of soil. The garderner swore and we heard howls, we suspected he had turned into a werewolf. He stepped over the hole that we were trapped in and we could feel his body weight fall onto us. We were TRAPPED! Luckily I had my computer with me and is now asking this question. It has been two years, 37 weeks and 4 days since we were first trapped. I finally remembered that I had my computer with me one year ago. It took me one year to work out how to use yahoo answers which is surprisingly hard and I have no idea how people understand this. It's taken me one year for me to figure out how to use yahoo answers. Please read all of this I know it is alot and I'm sorry and I need help. How do me and my best friend get out? We have been stuck in here for 2 years now and we have have no food or water for 2 years 37 weeks and 4 days. The werewolf returned the other day and digged us up. He then turned into a giant parrot which then exploded into a lizard which then burst into a sheep. The sheep picked us up and through us one hundred kilometres in the air. The impact on the ground caused us to be trapped again. He then kicked the soil over us and we have been trapped since.